by Romina Rubino

EMDR Therapy for Trauma

When a memory does not yet fully belong to the past

Some experiences can be remembered with the knowledge that they are over. Others are not simply remembered: in certain situations, they return through the body, emotions and reactions that can feel impossible to control.

You may know rationally that you are safe, yet find that a tone of voice, a smell, physical closeness or a bodily sensation brings the alarm back. At times, intrusive images or nightmares appear; at others, you may avoid anything that could remind you of what happened, struggle to trust or distance yourself from your feelings so as not to experience their intensity.

EMDR therapy can work precisely with this gap between knowing that the danger has passed and being able to feel that it has.

 

What is EMDR therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is a structured psychotherapy focused on processing traumatic experiences. Its effectiveness is supported by research, and it is recommended by major clinical guidelines for the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder.

EMDR is often associated with eye movements, but it involves far more than following something with your eyes. Eye movements, as well as other forms of alternating bilateral stimulation, are one part of a broader therapeutic process that includes understanding your history, preparation, processing and reviewing what has changed.

When an experience has been too overwhelming, sudden or prolonged, it may not become fully integrated with the rest of memory. The experience can remain connected to the emotions, physical sensations and beliefs that arose at the time: “I am not safe”, “It was my fault”, “I cannot trust anyone” or “I have no control”.

Something in the present that resembles the original experience, even indirectly, may reactivate the entire response. You may be responding not only to what is happening now, but also to something that your mind and body have not yet fully recognised as belonging to the past.

 

What happens during EMDR therapy?

EMDR does not necessarily begin with the traumatic memory. We first seek to understand what you are experiencing, your history and the ways in which past experiences continue to affect the present. Together, we consider your current stability, the resources available to you and what you may need in order to approach the work without becoming overwhelmed.

This preparation is an integral part of EMDR therapy. When trauma is connected to early or repeated relational experiences, more time may be needed to develop stability, trust and the capacity to regulate difficult emotions.

When the conditions are right, we identify the memory, situation or current reaction we will work with. During processing, attention is brought to particular elements of the experience—including images, emotions, thoughts and physical sensations—while using eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation, such as alternating sounds or gentle taps.

Throughout the process, you remain aware, present and in control. EMDR is not hypnosis: you can speak, ask questions, slow down or stop at any time. You do not have to describe every detail of an experience or revisit it before you have developed the resources needed to support you.

The pace is guided by your responses, your resources and the stage of therapy, rather than by the rigid application of a protocol.

 

What does processing trauma mean?

EMDR does not erase a memory or change what happened. It helps the mind resume a process of integration that may have been disrupted during the traumatic experience.

As the work progresses, a memory may become less vivid and intrusive. Physical reactions may diminish, and beliefs formed during the trauma may give way to a perspective that is more consistent with your life in the present. You can remember what happened without feeling as though it is happening again.

Processing allows the experience to find a place within your story, without continuing to determine automatically what you feel, the relationships you form or the ways in which you protect yourself.

 

When can EMDR be helpful?

EMDR therapy is particularly indicated for post-traumatic stress disorder and may be considered when the effects of a traumatic experience include:

  • intrusive memories, flashbacks or nightmares;

  • avoiding people, places or situations;

  • hypervigilance and difficulty relaxing;

  • intense physical reactions to particular triggers;

  • shame, guilt or negative beliefs about yourself;

  • emotional numbness or a sense of unreality;

  • difficulty trusting or feeling safe in relationships.

These responses may follow a single event, such as an accident, assault, abuse or traumatic medical experience. They may also be connected to situations repeated over time, including emotional neglect, instability, bullying or relationships in which protection and emotional recognition were absent.

Not all distress is necessarily caused by trauma, and not every difficulty requires EMDR. A careful clinical assessment helps us understand whether this approach is appropriate and at what stage of therapy it may be most helpful.

 

EMDR within relational psychoanalytic psychotherapy

In my work, EMDR is not used as a stand-alone technique. I integrate it within Relational Psychoanalysis, which remains the principal framework for the therapeutic process.

Processing a traumatic memory may reduce its intensity, but it is often also necessary to understand how the experience has shaped your relationship with yourself, your capacity to trust, your boundaries and the strategies you have developed to protect yourself.

A response that now appears disproportionate or difficult to understand may once have served an essential function. Recognising its meaning allows us to work with it without treating it as a defect that needs to be removed.

The relational perspective helps us understand the history and consequences of an experience, while EMDR enables us to work with memories that continue to be activated in the present. The aim is to bring together memory, body, emotions and relationships, creating a therapeutic process that respects the complexity of the individual.

 

My EMDR training

I completed all three levels of EMDR training in 2018 and continue to develop my practice through specialist clinical supervision and ongoing professional training. I am a member of EMDR UK & Ireland, EMDR Europe and EMDR Italy.

I integrate this expertise with more than fifteen years of clinical experience as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, with particular attention to relational trauma, physical responses to trauma and the resources needed to approach this work gradually.

I do not use EMDR in the same way with everyone. I consider when and how to introduce it according to your history, your needs and the stage of the therapeutic process.

I offer EMDR therapy in London and online, in English and Italian. If you are considering starting therapy, you can find out more about how psychotherapy works or contact me.